To Free the Pain

A moment out of my control. My body and mind were two separate beings, and I ,the third…their observer.
My mind screamed "No.. this is not right!" but my hand went on. "Stop it! What happened is not worth it!" ...As I look on, new six cuts are made, and I can't even feel them, but my mind is grieving as a new form of sickness is born to mark my body. Now I really have to hide.
I miss the slams of doors, the punching of walls, the useless grazing of bloodied nails on impenetrable surfrace. At least someone knew back then, someone heard, someone … asked, in total bsurdity "What was that?!"...waiting for me to reply the usual "Nothing." But now it's all quiet. No forged answers. Nothing. Only me witnessing the darkling red.