From Hell...
I walked into some place, full of colors and dancing people… all the things I hate. Loud noises, and unfamiliar faces. 'Fuck, what am I doing here?' Should have fought harder for my place, where I belong. But the sacrifices you have to make for things you don’t believe in… numerous, and ever persisting.
Then I saw her. There she was standing. She smiled when I walked towards her. "You look just the same" she winked. I didn't reply, I was too disgusted by all of this. Moments of silence pass between us, but it's always been disrupted by…everything.
I'm panicking now, I need my place… I need to hide, somewhere not in this crowd. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder, I look up and there she is again… she must have been calling me for sometime, but I didn't hear her. She leans in, "come with me to the restrooms!" … perfect! She wants to fix up! Now why the hell should I come along? … oh yes, because I need to play the nice friend. Yes, of course.
She walks next to me smiling at everyone, sometimes stopping to say 'hi', and ask how they've been. I just shy away, but still stay close to her. We eventually reach the restrooms. I look around… not a lot of people, the place kinda looks dirty and… my thoughts stop when I look at her, "what's wrong?" I ask concerned, "My feet hurt!!" .. she limps "Those damn shoes are tight!". With the stress I'm feeling, I would have laughed so hard… it's funny watching the others distress!! … but not her, my Mona Lisa. I frown, "let's find you a place to sit.", she's irritated "No! I have to be there! They have to see me standing there!" … what the.. ?! "Hon, you're limping!" as a matter of fact. She looks at me as if I'm crazy, "I. Have. To. Be. There!" … fucking fine, sweetheart!
She limps as we walk out of the restrooms, and the first step she's made out, she's walking gracefully again! …smiling at everyone, stopping to say 'hi', and ask how they've been…! I feel sick. I know she's hurting. 'you sure have a 'straight' face now, Mona Lisa!'
Minutes pass by, I'm drowned in my thoughts again and they all disappear. I don't listen. I don't see. I'm inside my mind. Nothing matters… but…
I look at her place and she's not there anymore. I'm stuck in my place, only my eyes search for her, 'where the hell did she.. ' ..my eyes narrow, I twist my face in disgust, she's dancing with them.. she's has a big smile in her face, and she's dancing.. I know she's hurt, I know she's …. Not with me now. 'for who, Mona Lisa? ..who's worth all this?' fuck it! I walk away, and find a place for myself at the corner, nobody's there… I'm invisible now. Good.
I look at the wedding singer. She's just doing her job. It's not anything special for her, why would she… I see an old woman approaching her. The singer leans in as the old woman whispers something in her ear. I sit and watch. The singer lifts the microphone, and says "Om "…..", wants to invite all of you to her son's wedding on…" my eyebrows lift up, I know that name! Yes, he proposed to me about 6 months ago, and I said 'no', but my mom *still* repeats that I'm a 'dense snob' for 'refusing' him cos he's a good match, cos he's a fucking doctor, cos he is this, and that! … fuck! Now not only did I have a night from hell, but my morning is gonna be ruined cos mom will *still* repeat that I'm a 'dense snob', cos he's a good match, cos he's a fucking doctor, cos he is.....
Then I saw her. There she was standing. She smiled when I walked towards her. "You look just the same" she winked. I didn't reply, I was too disgusted by all of this. Moments of silence pass between us, but it's always been disrupted by…everything.
I'm panicking now, I need my place… I need to hide, somewhere not in this crowd. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder, I look up and there she is again… she must have been calling me for sometime, but I didn't hear her. She leans in, "come with me to the restrooms!" … perfect! She wants to fix up! Now why the hell should I come along? … oh yes, because I need to play the nice friend. Yes, of course.
She walks next to me smiling at everyone, sometimes stopping to say 'hi', and ask how they've been. I just shy away, but still stay close to her. We eventually reach the restrooms. I look around… not a lot of people, the place kinda looks dirty and… my thoughts stop when I look at her, "what's wrong?" I ask concerned, "My feet hurt!!" .. she limps "Those damn shoes are tight!". With the stress I'm feeling, I would have laughed so hard… it's funny watching the others distress!! … but not her, my Mona Lisa. I frown, "let's find you a place to sit.", she's irritated "No! I have to be there! They have to see me standing there!" … what the.. ?! "Hon, you're limping!" as a matter of fact. She looks at me as if I'm crazy, "I. Have. To. Be. There!" … fucking fine, sweetheart!
She limps as we walk out of the restrooms, and the first step she's made out, she's walking gracefully again! …smiling at everyone, stopping to say 'hi', and ask how they've been…! I feel sick. I know she's hurting. 'you sure have a 'straight' face now, Mona Lisa!'
Minutes pass by, I'm drowned in my thoughts again and they all disappear. I don't listen. I don't see. I'm inside my mind. Nothing matters… but…
I look at her place and she's not there anymore. I'm stuck in my place, only my eyes search for her, 'where the hell did she.. ' ..my eyes narrow, I twist my face in disgust, she's dancing with them.. she's has a big smile in her face, and she's dancing.. I know she's hurt, I know she's …. Not with me now. 'for who, Mona Lisa? ..who's worth all this?' fuck it! I walk away, and find a place for myself at the corner, nobody's there… I'm invisible now. Good.
I look at the wedding singer. She's just doing her job. It's not anything special for her, why would she… I see an old woman approaching her. The singer leans in as the old woman whispers something in her ear. I sit and watch. The singer lifts the microphone, and says "Om "…..", wants to invite all of you to her son's wedding on…" my eyebrows lift up, I know that name! Yes, he proposed to me about 6 months ago, and I said 'no', but my mom *still* repeats that I'm a 'dense snob' for 'refusing' him cos he's a good match, cos he's a fucking doctor, cos he is this, and that! … fuck! Now not only did I have a night from hell, but my morning is gonna be ruined cos mom will *still* repeat that I'm a 'dense snob', cos he's a good match, cos he's a fucking doctor, cos he is.....
posted by Mystique at 12:51 PM
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