Not Meant For Me

I have two names on blacklist… One I got over (I think) and one is a work in progress. I must admit it gets under my skin.. I hate it like Hell.
I'm always surrounded with people, ones I might call 'friends' at times… what can I say?

• I am the needed, not the needy.
• I am the influence, not the influenced.
• I am the 'abandoner', not the abandoned.
• I am the over-66-centemeters-the- not-green version of Yoda :p

Egotistical much? .. Well it's true! And you can only imagine my loathing when I remember my blacklist, not directed at them, but myself… fuck! How did they get to my head? I know I let them, and it's my fault, but WHEN did they creep in to my head!?
I'm glad to say that my pride is salvaged cos I'm not as pathetic as to think of them all night… not even the best of it really.. I only think of them when I'm lonely. But honestly, their ghosts keep me company.